Language of Love
by ADemonNamedGrace
Summary: Based on a tumblr post. Red X decides that Starfire's poor English reflects Robin's kissing skills. Robin pride takes over.


"Will you please stop eating chips and help me?" Robin snapped. Red X took a second to look over at him. Robin was laying on his stomach, stretched out on the gravel rooftop, binoculars up to his mask.

Technically, they were supposed to be watching the abandoned building across the street. But stake-outs were boring, and Red X had gotten bored about forty minutes ago. Red X licked the salt off his fingers, and pulled his glove back on. Red X, who was slumped against the housing of the ventilation fan, just snorted. "You need me to help you watch the building?" Robin shot him a dirty look, but said nothing. Red X waited for him to pick another fight, and decided to instigate it himself. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"…What?" Robin asked tiredly.

"You have any idea why Starfire tried to kiss me yesterday? I mean, besides all the obvious reasons she'd wanna kiss me." He waited for the reaction.

Robin's mouth twitched, and his fingers tightened on the binoculars, but there was no other response. "Well, she said she wanted to learn Spanish, and Spanish is your mother tongue, so. It was probably that."

"…Run that by me again?"

He could practically hear Robin rolling his eyes. "Tamaranians learn new languages through kissing. That's how she learned English in the first place, now will you be quiet?"

Red X sat up straighter. "When she kisses people she learns their native tongues?"

"Yes."

"Huh. Who'd she kiss? To learn English, I mean."

Robin mumbled something unintelligible, cheeks going red.

"What was that?" Red X asked, grinning.

"Me! It was me, okay? God, do you ever shut up?" Robin snapped.

Red X started cackling. "Tell me everything, the whole story!"

"Go to hell."

"After you tell me!"

Robin set the binoculars aside and turned to glare at him. "She'd just escaped from a slave-trade ship, and she was lost and confused. She couldn't understand anything, and I—we—were trying to get her to calm down. So, she kissed me." He turned away.

"So, this was before you fell in love with her?"

"I am not in love with her!" Robin said angrily, and then added "Anymore," in a mumble.

Red X considered, then let that bit go. "Heh. That is such a cool power for a species to have evolved."

"Eh, her planet got invaded a lot. They needed a way to communicate."

Red X thought for a second. "It's not perfect though. I mean, Star's English is only semi-fluent, and she has no grasp of contractions or slang."

"Yeah. It's weird, actually. We met her sister once, and _her_ English was flawless. I'm not sure why…" He trailed off, back to watching the building.

"I have a hypothesis."

"Oh, do you?" Robin asked tiredly.

"You're obviously a lousy kisser." Red X said, grinning smugly.

Robin dropped the binoculars, which went tumbling to the street below. He sat there, frozen, staring straight ahead. "What?"

"See, here's the way I suspect it works. The better the kiss, the better the grasp of the language passed along. Starfire, while a lovely person, is not wonderful at English. Therefore, you obviously gave her a crummy kiss. You're a bad kisser."

Robin pushed himself up, getting his legs back under him, and turned to stare at Red X. "Why? Why would you ever—god, never mind."

Red X was sniggering. "I hit a nerve, kid."

"I'm not a bad kisser." Robin said through his teeth.

"So why does Starfire's English suck?"

"Maybe Blackfire kissed more boys who spoke English! Who knows? Who cares?"

"You should. Seeing as it means you're a horrible kisser."

Robin racked his fingers through his hair. "I hate you. I honestly hate you."

"Hey, somebody has to tell you the truth. How else will you improve?" Red X braced his hands behind him, still grinning.

"That's not the 'truth', you have no idea if I'm a good kisser or not, you're just assuming, like a dick." Robin snapped.

"Well, the evidence suggests—" Red X started, but Robin cut him off with a snarl.

"I'll show you 'evidence'."

Robin lunged forward, one hand smacking the ground by Red's thigh, the other grabbing the back of his head, fingers gripping his partially raised mask. "What are you doing?" Red X managed, as Robin brought their faces together. Robin ignored him, tilting Red's head where he wanted it. "Robin—" Warm, soft lips covered his mouth, rough at first, almost demanding. Red X eyes were still wide open, even though all he could see was Robin's hair.

Robin's lips softened, the kiss turning tender and teasing. His tongue swiped gently at Red's lips, and the other opened automatically. Robin shifted, taking Red X's bottom lip between both of his, and nipped it gently. He soothed it with his tongue, earning a needy moan. Robin coaxed Red X to shift his head a little, deepening the kiss, and slid his tongue past Red's lips. Gentle, teasing flicks that had Red X's heart racing and his head spinning. Robin pulled back, smirking when Red X tried to chase his lips. "So, what does the evidence suggest now?" Robin asked, rubbing the back of Red's neck.

Red X just gawked, hands curled into the gravel underneath him.

Robin chuckled, the hand on Red's neck sliding around and up to his jaw. He grabbed Red's chin, and stroked his thumb over his mouth. "Your lips are all pink."

"You kissed me."

"Mmm-hmm. So, come on, what's your evaluation?"

Red X swallowed hard, staring Robin's lips. (His soft, warm, velvety lips.) "Um. I, um…Starfire should be better at English." He said weakly.

Robin smiled, still stroking Red's mouth. "Glad we have that settled." He took his hand away, and turned back to the building they were supposed to be watching.


End file.
